Ex-Priest Describes Struggle to Believe the Wafer is Really the Flesh and Blood of Jesus

Charles Chiniquy was a faithful priest of Rome for 25 years. As he read his Bible and followed the pope, his agony increased. Here are excerpts from his book, 50 Years in the "Church" of Rome in which he describes his quandary over Rome's wafer-god.

Chiniquy remembers with awe his ordination by the Archbishop of Canada: "This delegate of the pope, by imposing his hands on my head, gave me the power of converting a real wafer into the real substantial body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus Christ.

"My infallible Church placed me, not only on equal terms with my Saviour and God, but above Him! Hereafter I would not only command, but create Him.

"I passed that whole day and the greater part of the night in contemplating these superhuman honors and dignities. Many times I fell on my knees to thank God for His mercies towards me." As Chiniquy began to apply this new power, his struggle increased.

"The next day I was to say my first Mass and work that incomparable miracle which the Church of Rome calls TRANSUBSTANTIATION. It lasted about an hour. But when it was over, I was really exhausted by the effort made to keep my mind and heart in unison."

Twenty five years and a bushel of wheat flour later, Chiniquy broke out of the bondage of Roman paganism. He looks back in amazement:

"To make oneself believe that he can convert a piece of bread into God requires such a supreme effort of the will, and complete annihilation of intelligence, that the state of the soul, after the effort is over, is more like death than life.

"I had really persuaded myself that I had done the most holy and sublime action of my life, when in fact I had been guilty of the most outrageous act of idolatry!

"My eyes, my hands and my lips, my mouth and tongue, and all my senses and intelligence, were telling me that what I had seen, touched, eaten, was nothing but a wafer; but the voices of the pope and his Church were telling me that it was the real body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus Christ.

"I had persuaded myself that the voices of my senses and intelligence were the voices of Satan, and that the deceitful voice of the pope was the voice of the God of Truth! Every priest of Rome must come to that strange folly and perversity, every day of his life, to remain a priest of Rome."

"I am often asked, How is it that you could be guilty of such a gross act of idolatry? My only answer is the answer of the blind man of the gospel: I know not; One thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see."

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