For years, Walt Heyer underwent hormone therapy, lived as a woman, and received gender surgeries. He was convinced that transitioning would provide the peace and answers he had been searching for. It only made life worse.

Years later, he got saved and detransitioned. Now, Heyer is sharing his story and urging churches to reach out to people like him with truth, grace, and compassion.

Heyer’s journey did not begin with a feeling that he had simply been “born in the wrong body.” Looking back, he points to painful childhood experiences that he believes shaped years of confusion and distress.

He described being dressed in girls’ clothing by his grandmother as a young child, later experiencing severe discipline from his father, and eventually enduring sexual abuse by an uncle.

Years later, he sought help from one of the leading gender specialists of the era. He believed he would find answers. Instead, he says he received a diagnosis and a treatment path that failed to address the deeper wounds underneath.

What Heyer wishes he would have been asked is, “What caused you to not like who you are?” This question, he affirms, gets to the heart of the issue by addressing the person rather than simply reacting to the struggle.

Heyer believes many people wrestling with gender are attempting something deeper than a change of labels or appearance.

“People who take on this identity called transgenderism are not trying to become a female or male,” he said. “They’re trying to escape some pain or discomfort or confusion they have.”

Heyer’s premise aligns with stories shared by other detransitioners who are beginning to speak out. Many share a common theme of regret, unanswered questions, and experiences they say were never fully explored before medical intervention was thrust upon them.

Heyer is convinced that transitioning, and now detransitioning, has become a topic that churches need to address. But he recognizes that many pastors find themselves in unfamiliar territory. People in the pews are unsure of what to say to their neighbor. No one knows what to do when someone struggling with gender identity walks through the church doors.

Heyer affirms that fear and hostility are the wrong responses, but also says silence can be just as damaging. “The church needs to become educated,” he said. “Pastors and others really don’t know how to deal with it.”

His answer? Rather than treating people as controversies or culture-war topics, Heyer encourages churches to intentionally walk alongside individuals through prayer, accountability, and long-term discipleship. Above all, he insists that those struggling need the truth shared in love.

“The most important thing for people to realize is that nobody can change their gender,” Heyer said in a recent interview. “A person can identify as a transgender. They can’t become one.”

Conversations on gender often unfold through politics, social media arguments, and headlines. Yet behind every headline are people who are lost, hurting, confused, and carrying deep-seated questions about identity and belonging.

What they need is Jesus. They need someone willing to share the truth with unwavering compassion, acknowledging the hurt and brokenness while affirming the good design that God created.

To help with that, we have released The Real You, a tract written specifically for people struggling with gender identity and searching for answers. Inside, readers will find Gospel truth shared with both compassion and clarity.

Someone in your neighborhood, workplace, or even church may be carrying questions they’ve never spoken out loud. A simple tract placed into the right hands could become the beginning of a life-changing conversation.

Hand these out, leave a stack in a coffee shop, place a few in the LGBTQ section of your local library or bookstore. People who are searching for answers about identity will see the cover, pick it up, and read it to discover who the real them really is.